When things don’t go our way, we typically go through stages, which are a normal part of the coping and healing process.
1. Denial—”It can’t be,” It can’t happen to me,” “It’s not true”…. The first stage of reaction to any sudden, unexpected event tends to be denial. Denial is normal if it lasts a short time, but persistent denial is unhealthy because it blocks further growth and healing.
2. Anger/Blame—”Whose fault is it?,” “This makes me mad,” “This isn’t fair,” “Why me?” The second stage of reaction looks backward in hopes of finding the cause and someone or something to blame it on. Although nothing can be done at this point to change the past, it’s nevertheless a normal response. Like the stage of denial before it, the anger/blame stage is unhealthy if it persists for an unreasonable amount of time.
3. Despair—This stage tends to be characterized by tears, negative and hopeless/helpless thoughts, and a feeling of total emptiness and loss. Sleep and eating disturbances are common as the “reality” of the situation sets in. Relationships with other people can become more difficult at this time, but understanding and compassion must be given and accepted if one is to move beyond this stage. Stephen R. Yarnall, MD
Change is inevitable but its how you deal with change that will make you a success or a failure. If you’re right now on the unpleasant side of the balance scale you have the power to tip the scale the other side toward pleasant. Dahg