Building stronger bonds by sharing family values

Archive for September, 2012

Domestic Violence


A few weeks ago a mother in my area was killed outside of her place of employment by her ex-husband.  It made me stop and think how many people are living in fear day to day or moment by moment for their lives.  If this is you, today can be the beginning of a new day for you!  Take these few words to heart…..  You no longer have to live as a prisoner in your home or your mind.  Today, you are release from fear, bondage, being a punching bag, and most importantly being a hostage.  Yes you are FREE!

Domestic violence is physical, mental, sexual, or emotional abuse in an intimate relationship. It occurs when one person uses abusive tactics to gain power and control over a partner or former partner.

Domestic violence hits homes in every community. It has a devastating effect on victims, children, families, and communities.

If you are a victim, you can get help by calling the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic

Violence crisis line toll-free, 24 hours a day at 1-800-650-6522. There are safe shelters across

the state for you and your children, as well as many other services.

There is no excuse for domestic violence. If your spouse engages in one or several of the behaviors listed on this page, it may be an indication that you’re in an abusive relationship, and you should carefully evaluate your relationship and talk with a professional who can help.

Makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells to keep the peace

Makes you feel like a prisoner in your own home •
Yells at you frequently and calls you hurtful names •
Is unpredictable or has sudden mood swings

Threatens you with violence

Breaks or hits things in your presence

Gives you hateful or threatening looks

Shoves, slaps, or hits you

Abuses your children

Keeps you from seeing friends or family

Hurts your pets

Follows you, spies on you, or shows up at your job, school, or friends’ homes

Listens to your phone calls or keeps you from using the phone

Is forceful with affection and/or sex

Accuses you of having affairs

Controls all the money and gives
you little or none

Keeps you from getting or keeping a job

Pushed you to make a commitment before you felt ready

Has a history of battering in other relationships •
Gets very angry or upset with you often and then apologizes with gifts, flowers, and promises

Begin to love yourself by getting help today.

*Adapted from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

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Three Major Aspects of Change


I think that there are three major aspects of change. One is honesty. We need to be more honest, more aware, and more truthful in facing things that we have not faced.

Another aspect is grief.  This is needed in every situation, not just when someone dies. In every problem situation there is usually some sort of loss involved. It may be simply the loss of what we hoped for.

It may be the loss of a dream. There are all kinds of losses involved. By grieving we are able to move to acceptance. We need to have an acceptance of life the way it really is.

This is the opposite of hoping that life is different than it really is, hoping for an alternate reality. Grief is at the heart of all change.

The third aspect of change is forgiveness, which is another process of letting go. In this case, rather than letting go of false hope, you are letting go of revenge. You are letting go of trying to make people pay for your disappointments.

It is very important to keep those three things in order. That really is the order: honesty, grief, and forgiveness.

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
Maria Robinson

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