Building stronger bonds by sharing family values

Archive for March, 2013

Grief is Normal PT 2


Most common misinformation on Grief

Today is a great day to begin your healing process.  After you get pass the misinformation replace it with love.

Time heals. Time does not heal, action within time

does. We know people who have waited 10, 20, 30 or

even 40 years to feel better.

Grieve alone. Often this advice is subtly implied,

“Give your mom her space” or “He just needs a few

minutes alone in the other room.” As children, we

learn that this means that sad feelings should be

hidden or experienced alone.

Be strong. Usually the Griever is asked to be strong

for others. “You have to be strong for your [wife]” or

“Be strong for your children.”

Don’t feel bad. This is usually followed by an

intellectually true statement but is not helpful at all

to the Griever, “Don’t feel bad, his su_ering is over.”

or “Don’t feel bad, at least you knew her as long as

you did.”

Replace the loss. This is common with pet loss or

the end of a romantic relationship. “On Tuesday

we’ll get you a new dog” or “There are plenty of fish

in the sea. You just have to get out there and date

again.” Most likely there has been no action taken to

grieve over the loss of the pet or relationship, just an

attempt at not feeling the emotions attached to the

loss.

Keep busy. “If I just keep busy then I won’t have

time to think about the loss.” This one is sad

because some people spend their whole lives with

this mentality and never get a chance to grieve and

complete what was unfinished with the particular

loss.

Recovering from a significant emotional loss is not

an easy task. Taking the actions that lead to

recovery will require your attention,

open-mindedness, willingness, and courage.  It not the in but a new beginning.

Except from The Grief Recovery Method, griefrecoverymethod.com

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Family Drama


Every family has drama, how you deal with this dramatic experience will leave you one of several ways.  Depressed, anger, having negative thoughts, or maybe walking out.  Yes you may add to the list!  Point being, you’re not in this alone.  The stage has now been set, dad has had a bad day at work, same for mom at home, little Johnny or Jane at school and home is the battleground.

Here’s a thought:  Someone needs to take charge, will it be you or the kids?

If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent.  ~Bette Davis

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