Building stronger bonds by sharing family values

Posts tagged ‘blended families’

Life Nuggets for the Instant Parent

Eight Key Principles

• Realize that becoming an instant parent is a challenging task that requires team work.

• Remember that you’re not replacing a parent. You’re creating new beginnings.

• Reinforce your commitment to the marriage first this will benefit the child.

• Regard your role as God’s example of what a marriage is intended to be.

• Rebuild a gradual authority system to function by Biblical guidelines.

• Reflect the love of God by providing security for the child. By offering a safe place to grow and mature.

• Refuse to judge or criticize the missing parent. This only damages the process of blending and healing this new family unit.

• Resist the temptation to withdraw emotionally if you are not immediately accepted.

• Resolve to pray for the child and for your marriage.

“Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1–2)

StepMom you’re not alone

#CafeSmom, #SisterhoodofSMS 
Reach out today!

Grandparents as Caregivers

This article is worth noting!

Grandparents are our connection to the past, and often the key to what shapes our future. Grandparents are our history, and we, in turn, are reflections of their lives and experiences. Grandparents set the values and standards by which families live, and it is through traditions that are passed along through generations by grandparents that families remain strong and together. Something as simple as a special family recipe or an annual family reunion can serve to remind us of the importance of our own heritage and our grandparents’ role in preserving it.
In the United States today, there are approximately 5.8 million grandparents living with a #grandchild. Of that number, 2.4 million grandparents ­ mostly grandmothers ­ are the primary caregivers of grandchildren, providing for most of their basic needs when their own parents cannot. Many of these grandparents have not planned to take on these responsibilities having already raised their families. But they gladly take on the challenges nonetheless, often at great personal sacrifice to their own physical, emotional and financial health.

The Administration on #Aging’s National Family Caregiver Support Program provides support for grandparents who are raising their young grandchildren. All too often, grandparents do not know where to turn, and are in need of basic information as well as counseling, support and respite. I am so proud that the National Family Caregiver Support Program is beginning to make a difference in the lives of grandparents across the country. 

The opportunity to develop and expand innovative and supportive programs to assist families and informal caregivers of grandparents and older relatives who are #caregivers of children, has led to exciting innovations in Arizona, Illinois, New York and Pennsylvania:

United Cerebral Palsy of Southern Arizona is increasing services to grandparents and older caregivers who are raising children with mental retardation or developmental disabilities by providing paid vouchers as a mechanism to streamline access to services. 

The Illinois Department on Aging is providing supportive services to frail, older caregivers, who are the parent, legal guardian or family member caring for an adult child with developmental disabilities. 

Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Rochester, New York, is collaborating with 15 national and local organizations to create a Kinship Care Network to help relative caregivers of grandchildren develop knowledge and skills and to improve family stability by resolving legal, financial, health and other problems the family may identify. 

The Pennsylvania Department of Aging is implementing a support system for older caregivers of adult children with mental retardation or developmental disabilities to reimburse consumers for expenditures related to caregiving and provide resources for all caregiving needs.

As we continue to explore new ways of improving service components for grandparent caregivers, it is my hope that we learn from these and similar innovations and share that knowledge and experience throughout the aging network. The challenges faced by grandparents who are raising their grandchildren can be daunting, but they are surmountable. As we reach each milestone, we become one step closer to our vision of a society that is increasingly aware of the importance of supporting grandparents who are caregivers. 

Where to Go for Help:

State and Area Agencies on Aging and local community service providers across the country have instituted programs and services to assist grandparent caregivers. Other important programs offered around the country include respite services and support groups. 

To learn about grandparent caregiver resources in your community use the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 to contact your local Area Agency. An extensive list of resources and valuable links is also available on the Administration on Aging web site:

 Grandparents as Caregivers

By Josefina G. Carbonell


A little boy was riding his tricycle furiously around the block, over and over again. Finally a policeman stopped and asked him why he was going around and around. The boy said that he was running away from home. Then the policeman asked why he kept going around the block. The boy responded, “Because my mom said that I’m not allowed to cross the street.”

The point is clear—obedience will keep you close to those you love.

Abuse is Real pt2

“There were probably many factors that kept the relationship going and kept your love alive. There were all his promises. “I promise this will never happen again.” You believed him the first time. And the second. As the abuse continued, he became increasingly remorseful, his promises more insistent. You continued to believe him; you wanted to believe him. After all, you loved him. 

Then there were all the apologies. He seemed truly sorry. You forgave him. Now, however, when you think back, you realize the apologies were conditional. They blamed you! “I’m sorry, but if only you hadn’t…” They always made his abuse somehow your fault. You may have begun to believe this, and you may even remember apologizing to him. You began to believe that if you were careful about what you said or did, you could prevent the abuse from happening again. As the abuse escalated over time, the blaming became more obvious. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but if you just weren’t so [stupid, ugly, careless, dumb, etc.], this would never have happened.” Time after time you were made to believe that every act of violence or abuse was your fault. Day after day you were made to feel that you were unworthy of him.” 
― Meg Kennedy DuganIt’s My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence

Take pride in who you are.  Domestic Violence goes both ways.  Begin to respect yourself today!

The Pressures of Life from the Eyes of a Disable Person

Pressures of life as a disable person will force you to view life situations differently then when you were totally healthy. Disabilities can affect you in many forms such as; Emotionally, Physically, Financially and Spiritually. After having several major surgeries on my spine, and being wheel chair bound, I felt emotionally battered, in a physical pit, financial rut and spiritually bankrupted.

This had altered my life in ways, which I never would have expected as a man. Part of me wanted to give up! A good friend made this statement to me: “By faith do you believe that your car will start once you place the key in to the ignition and turn it?” I answer yes! Well why you can’t believe that by faith you are healed. Even if I was to never rise up out of my new chair there is hope.

Today, giving up is not an option. By faith and connecting with other disable men and women I realize I’m whole by the grace of God. I just had to change my mind set, and become proactive in facing challenges face on. I endured therapy for several months along with crying and praying. I can say it has paid dividends. I’m up walking and back in the gym. The good news here is, I don’t know what the future holds but today I am standing on the word of the Lord by faith.

God desire to use your “Disability for his Ability!” You’re not alone. Whatever the situation maybe there is a plan that will workout for your good.

Become an encourager that encourages others!

David A. H. Gavin

Twitter: @blended_family

Step Mom’s Rocks

Despite the challenges that come along with a marriage, being a step-mom also does.  She has to accept the responsibility of raising her own children as well as her husbands.  These experiences change moment by moment.  

I give tribute to my wife for allowing the Grace of God to lead her through raising our eight children from ages 9-32.  I say Step Mom’s Rock because this is one playbook that changes right before your eyes.

Be encourage even on the days when you strongly desire to throw in the towel.  God and other step moms are available to help you endure the good, bad and the ugly.

Who Disciplines Which Kids?

Who Disciplines Which Kids? It is usually easier and more natural for the biological parent to discipline his or her own child/children. However, some couples do share responsibility for discipline. REMEMBER: each child is unique and will react to discipline in different ways, whether applied by the parent or step-parent.

Be kind and patient when applying discipline, but not indulgent. Set firm limits without anger or spite. Make sure to let the child know that he or she is valued, but misbehavior is not acceptable. Even in a nuclear family, children will test limits, so when a stepchild says, “You can’t tell me what do; you’re not my parent,” try to avoid an angry power struggle. State your position and stick to it, preferably with the support of your partner.

Only if I could tell them whats on my mind

What God Blends, He will Mend!


You are more than!

You are more than all the negativity that continue to come your way.

There is an ingredient in you that continues to pick you up every-time you fall and move you forward when there are setback in your life. That ingredient is call “More”! You are more than whatever the enemy says you’re not. “Know, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:38″ (NIV)

So for the negative people in your life think about the quote below.

“First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

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