In today’s social sector dating is like going to a fast food restaurant. One may go out a couple of times, begin to have sex and in some cases then begin to play house. However, this style of speed dating takes the essence out of courtship. Where the male woo’s a woman for her attention. How does one accomplish this? By inviting her out for walks in the park, cooking a nice dinner for one another, spending time together and getting to know each other. Maybe this person is the one for you and maybe not. Time will tell all before you become sexually or emotional entangled if you allow it. So do you prefer fast food dating over fine dining courtship? Now, that’s something to thank about.
The good news is as a married couple wooing your mate is great for jump starting a marriage thats been in a recession.
Fortifying a blended family requires more work then the average household. Why? Because you are attempting to blend and bond two different households. There may be some culture, background or even have different values. Therefore, the husband and wife must become interwoven. The threefold mandate of leaving, cleaving, and becoming one flesh cannot be fulfilled without love. This immediately raises a problem, because there are so many personal and cultural misconceptions about the nature of love. Many people confuse love with infatuation which is generally based on a superficial level of outward appearance, a desire for self-satisfaction, fantasy, and romantic euphoria. But remember for God so love the world that he gave. Are you give unconditional love to your mate and family?
When things don’t go our way, we typically go through stages, which are a normal part of the coping and healing process.
1. Denial—”It can’t be,” It can’t happen to me,” “It’s not true”…. The first stage of reaction to any sudden, unexpected event tends to be denial. Denial is normal if it lasts a short time, but persistent denial is unhealthy because it blocks further growth and healing.
2. Anger/Blame—”Whose fault is it?,” “This makes me mad,” “This isn’t fair,” “Why me?” The second stage of reaction looks backward in hopes of finding the cause and someone or something to blame it on. Although nothing can be done at this point to change the past, it’s nevertheless a normal response. Like the stage of denial before it, the anger/blame stage is unhealthy if it persists for an unreasonable amount of time.
3. Despair—This stage tends to be characterized by tears, negative and hopeless/helpless thoughts, and a feeling of total emptiness and loss. Sleep and eating disturbances are common as the “reality” of the situation sets in. Relationships with other people can become more difficult at this time, but understanding and compassion must be given and accepted if one is to move beyond this stage. Stephen R. Yarnall, MD
Change is inevitable but its how you deal with change that will make you a success or a failure. If you’re right now on the unpleasant side of the balance scale you have the power to tip the scale the other side toward pleasant. Dahg