Building stronger bonds by sharing family values

Posts tagged ‘Military blended families’

Modern Day Family Pt2


Blended Families face Unique Challenges

The image of the traditional American family — the nuclear family of the Clevers and Huxtables — was once limited to mom, dad, and children living happily together under roof. Today the notion of a typical family has gradually expanded to included blended families of stepparents and stepchildren, like the Bradys and the Kardashians.

Blended families are one of the fastest growing segments of families in the United States, but unlike the nicely packaged problems seen on Television, these families struggle with issues that are anything but easy.  Major issues that newly blended families face include integrating discipline styles and coping with strong emotions, while at the same time building new relationships from scratch.

“It’s hard to step out of that role – am I a friend or am I a parent? But as an adult, you’re the parent, you have to discipline because there are going to be times that they’re with you alone,” said New York psychologist Dr. Janet Taylor in an interview with “Good Morning America.”

“Come from a nurturing standpoint, where you teach them responsibility, but do it from a place of love.”

Yes, love is a key factor but the major role begins with the new couple and what they have agreed upon before they said I do.  If you begin to look at why the child or children are acting out, you may have a better understand on how to solve the issues at hand.  First they have suffered a great loss in loosing the other parent and secondly adjustment doesn’t come over night.  Continue to esteem your mate but at the same time don’t stop showing affection for all your children.

David A. Harris-Gavin

 

 

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Experience is…..


Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.  The sky’s are clear, the trees are green, and the mountains are high but just for today have it your way.Mountain-photo.~ Aldous Huxley

To My Children


To my children, If A Could Give You One Thing In Life, I Would Give You The Ability To See Yourself Through My Eyes. Only Then Would You Realize How Special You Are To Me…

Grief is Normal PT 2


Most common misinformation on Grief

Today is a great day to begin your healing process.  After you get pass the misinformation replace it with love.

Time heals. Time does not heal, action within time

does. We know people who have waited 10, 20, 30 or

even 40 years to feel better.

Grieve alone. Often this advice is subtly implied,

“Give your mom her space” or “He just needs a few

minutes alone in the other room.” As children, we

learn that this means that sad feelings should be

hidden or experienced alone.

Be strong. Usually the Griever is asked to be strong

for others. “You have to be strong for your [wife]” or

“Be strong for your children.”

Don’t feel bad. This is usually followed by an

intellectually true statement but is not helpful at all

to the Griever, “Don’t feel bad, his su_ering is over.”

or “Don’t feel bad, at least you knew her as long as

you did.”

Replace the loss. This is common with pet loss or

the end of a romantic relationship. “On Tuesday

we’ll get you a new dog” or “There are plenty of fish

in the sea. You just have to get out there and date

again.” Most likely there has been no action taken to

grieve over the loss of the pet or relationship, just an

attempt at not feeling the emotions attached to the

loss.

Keep busy. “If I just keep busy then I won’t have

time to think about the loss.” This one is sad

because some people spend their whole lives with

this mentality and never get a chance to grieve and

complete what was unfinished with the particular

loss.

Recovering from a significant emotional loss is not

an easy task. Taking the actions that lead to

recovery will require your attention,

open-mindedness, willingness, and courage.  It not the in but a new beginning.

Except from The Grief Recovery Method, griefrecoverymethod.com

The Impact of Change


Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.  King Whitney Jr.  Don’t allow the psychological impact of change discourage the greatest dicussion you ever made in your life.  Which can impact you for the rest of your life.

You have set goals, objectives and visions it’s time to see them through.  Today, change inwardly by stepping out on faith.

 

Can you hear me?


Do you really know what your family members are thinking on a regular bases?  Are you even listening to them?  Do you hear them?  Someone near you may be saying thinking this right now.  However, you may never know because society has minimize family time.  When we spend quality time together we can actually hear whats on one anthers hearts.  When was the last time your family had dinner, an outing, or even prayer together.  Just wondering!  One of the main keys in relationship building is communication.  Can you hear me?  

A Prayer For You!


I pray you to set your heart upon this, and to offer the humble prayer, “Lord, now reveal yourself to me, so that I may never lose the sight of you. Give me to understand that through the thick darkness you come to make yourself known.” Let not one heart doubt, however dark it may be at midnight – whatever midnight there may be in the soul – in the dark, Christ can reveal Himself.”

Peace Be Still!!!!!

David A. H. Gavin

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