“The very best of marriages Are made by best of friends, Who face together, hand in hand, The good and bad life sends. They aren’t afraid to share The deepest feelings of the heart, And respect each other’s needs To spend some time apart. They support each other faithfully When troubles come their way, They don’t blame in haste or anger, But who love in what they say. They make marriage like true friendship Full of deeds that show they care, And they find a world of happiness In all the love they share”. —Amanda Bradley
Posts tagged ‘military couples’
Blended Families face Unique Challenges
The image of the traditional American family — the nuclear family of the Clevers and Huxtables — was once limited to mom, dad, and children living happily together under roof. Today the notion of a typical family has gradually expanded to included blended families of stepparents and stepchildren, like the Bradys and the Kardashians.
Blended families are one of the fastest growing segments of families in the United States, but unlike the nicely packaged problems seen on Television, these families struggle with issues that are anything but easy. Major issues that newly blended families face include integrating discipline styles and coping with strong emotions, while at the same time building new relationships from scratch.
“It’s hard to step out of that role – am I a friend or am I a parent? But as an adult, you’re the parent, you have to discipline because there are going to be times that they’re with you alone,” said New York psychologist Dr. Janet Taylor in an interview with “Good Morning America.”
“Come from a nurturing standpoint, where you teach them responsibility, but do it from a place of love.”
Yes, love is a key factor but the major role begins with the new couple and what they have agreed upon before they said I do. If you begin to look at why the child or children are acting out, you may have a better understand on how to solve the issues at hand. First they have suffered a great loss in loosing the other parent and secondly adjustment doesn’t come over night. Continue to esteem your mate but at the same time don’t stop showing affection for all your children.
David A. Harris-Gavin
Most common misinformation on Grief
Today is a great day to begin your healing process. After you get pass the misinformation replace it with love.
Time heals. Time does not heal, action within time
does. We know people who have waited 10, 20, 30 or
even 40 years to feel better.
Grieve alone. Often this advice is subtly implied,
“Give your mom her space” or “He just needs a few
minutes alone in the other room.” As children, we
learn that this means that sad feelings should be
hidden or experienced alone.
Be strong. Usually the Griever is asked to be strong
for others. “You have to be strong for your [wife]” or
“Be strong for your children.”
Don’t feel bad. This is usually followed by an
intellectually true statement but is not helpful at all
to the Griever, “Don’t feel bad, his su_ering is over.”
or “Don’t feel bad, at least you knew her as long as
Replace the loss. This is common with pet loss or
the end of a romantic relationship. “On Tuesday
we’ll get you a new dog” or “There are plenty of fish
in the sea. You just have to get out there and date
again.” Most likely there has been no action taken to
grieve over the loss of the pet or relationship, just an
attempt at not feeling the emotions attached to the
Keep busy. “If I just keep busy then I won’t have
time to think about the loss.” This one is sad
because some people spend their whole lives with
this mentality and never get a chance to grieve and
complete what was unfinished with the particular
Recovering from a significant emotional loss is not
an easy task. Taking the actions that lead to
recovery will require your attention,
open-mindedness, willingness, and courage. It not the in but a new beginning.
Except from The Grief Recovery Method, griefrecoverymethod.com
My biological mother passed some 14 years ago and during her sickness my stepmother always made herself available. Now, I’m older, wiser and truly understand the importance of family.
My stepmother loves me unconditionally just like the Lord; despite my faults. Now, it’s my turn to be a blessing to her by assisting my half-siblings to care give for her. Oh, what a blessing…
Can you forget about yourself and bless a family member in spite of how they may have treated you growing up? Just a thought!
Blended families have several challenges and barriers. One serious problem that escalates out of control is the way the new husband and wife feels about their kid(s). Better known as the Kid Factor! Each is committed to his or her own flesh and blood, while they’re merely acquainted with the other(s). The problem is when kid(s) sense tension between the parents, they will use it as an opportunity to exploit the situation to their advantage. Therefore, set boundaries for both sets of siblings. Discuss between husband and wife who should handle the discipline and how. Then share these new rules with everyone. I like to call the Barrier Dissolver! Just remember love is the key to barrier breaker.
Are you ready for a change in your life? A new adventure, new scenery, new love, new attitude, new home, whatever your desire it begins with you. Just know changes come with a price. It’s like being in the hand of a potter; being remolded or reshaped. The end result is unknown. The bottom-line change is for the best….. GET READY FOR A CHANGE TODAY!