Dads give guidance to their sons and moms guidance their daughters. But particularly as girls mature, they need their dads’ perspective as they approach significant crossroads. Daughters need the benefit of their dads’ life experiences and wisdom as they consider important life decisions and think through possible consequences of their choices.
Your daughter also needs to know that you cherish her as a person and you admire her as a lovely young woman. She isn’t just another person; she is special and unique, and worthy of your attention. She is royalty. Your love maybe what it takes for her not to fade into the shadows of darks wondering around looking for hope. She needs you to be a dad not a stranger perpetrating to be someone he’s not.
Begin today by loving her with a simple phone call, taking her to lunch or better yet a hug.
David A. Harris-Gavin
Blended Families face Unique Challenges
The image of the traditional American family — the nuclear family of the Clevers and Huxtables — was once limited to mom, dad, and children living happily together under roof. Today the notion of a typical family has gradually expanded to included blended families of stepparents and stepchildren, like the Bradys and the Kardashians.
Blended families are one of the fastest growing segments of families in the United States, but unlike the nicely packaged problems seen on Television, these families struggle with issues that are anything but easy. Major issues that newly blended families face include integrating discipline styles and coping with strong emotions, while at the same time building new relationships from scratch.
“It’s hard to step out of that role – am I a friend or am I a parent? But as an adult, you’re the parent, you have to discipline because there are going to be times that they’re with you alone,” said New York psychologist Dr. Janet Taylor in an interview with “Good Morning America.”
“Come from a nurturing standpoint, where you teach them responsibility, but do it from a place of love.”
Yes, love is a key factor but the major role begins with the new couple and what they have agreed upon before they said I do. If you begin to look at why the child or children are acting out, you may have a better understand on how to solve the issues at hand. First they have suffered a great loss in loosing the other parent and secondly adjustment doesn’t come over night. Continue to esteem your mate but at the same time don’t stop showing affection for all your children.
David A. Harris-Gavin
Your son will return but will you receive him with open arms. The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) gives us God’s response to a rebellious child. Possibly the hardest guideline to follow in this story is how the father allowed his son to take his inheritance and make his own choices. He did not run after his son and beg him to return, nor did he continually berate him for his foolish ways. His son was of age and solely responsible for his actions (Deuteronomy 24:16, Proverbs 1:29-31). This doesn’t mean that the father didn’t love his son. In verse 20 we are told that he saw his son returning from along way off. This implies that his father was watching for his son daily, dearly hoping for him to return and repent. This is not easy but, if we have shared the Gospel and the instructions that the Bible has given us with our children, the final decision to live a Godly life lies with each individual.
Build me a son, O Lord,
who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,
and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid;
one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,
and humble and gentle in victory.
Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort,
but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge.
Here let him learn to stand up in the storm;
here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Build me a son whose heart will be clear,
whose goal will be high,
a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men,
one who will reach into the future,
yet never forget the past.
And, after all these things are his,
give him, I pray, enough of a sense of humor,
so that he may always be serious,
yet never take himself too seriously.
Give him humility,
so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness,
the open mind of true strength.
Then I, his father, will dare to whisper,
‘I have not lived in vain.’
Blended families have several challenges and barriers. One serious problem that escalates out of control is the way the new husband and wife feels about their kid(s). Better known as the Kid Factor! Each is committed to his or her own flesh and blood, while they’re merely acquainted with the other(s). The problem is when kid(s) sense tension between the parents, they will use it as an opportunity to exploit the situation to their advantage. Therefore, set boundaries for both sets of siblings. Discuss between husband and wife who should handle the discipline and how. Then share these new rules with everyone. I like to call the Barrier Dissolver! Just remember love is the key to barrier breaker.
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” ― George Bernard Shaw
For decades there have been hidden within families skeletons dancing around seeking freedom. When will the day come that you will set yours free?
Remember, your enemy can’t hold you hostage if all your skeletons are out of the closet…..
Do you really know what your family members are thinking on a regular bases? Are you even listening to them? Do you hear them? Someone near you may be saying thinking this right now. However, you may never know because society has minimize family time. When we spend quality time together we can actually hear whats on one anthers hearts. When was the last time your family had dinner, an outing, or even prayer together. Just wondering! One of the main keys in relationship building is communication. Can you hear me?
“Genuine love is rarely an emotional space where needs are instantly gratified. To know love we have to invest time and commitment…’dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love — which is to transform us.’ Many people want love to function like a drug, giving them an immediate and sustained high. They want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.”
― bell hooks
True love is not a fantasy, drug and more than a good feeling. As we invest time in others the dividends are far greater. True love is priceless!
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill
My wife and I recently had a nice dinner at this fabulous restaurant in the mountains. As I was glanced over the menu this thought came to mind.
Do you find that there is just not enough time in the day to complete the entire task listed on your calendar. Have you taken a pause lately to evaluate all that’s on your plate? Even when a person sits down to prepare to partake in a delightful seven-course meal they automatically have an understanding that each meal course comes in segments. So, What’s on your plate? Do you have enough quality time set aside on your plate to spend with your children, mate, work, self, parents, relatives, and friends? We must not leave out our spiritual time that keeps us balance. With all that’s going on within the market place re-evaluate today, the type of seven-course meal you are subjecting yourself to on a regular bases. It’s not that your plate is too small that’s causing your stress. Maybe, you just need to take some items off of the menu.