Building stronger bonds by sharing family values

Archive for February, 2012

Shake the Guilt Off

We will face numerous losses, disappointments and changes throughout our lives. The results are final such as: the death of a spouse, parent, child, marriage ending, or relationship. Endings are hard because they mean adjusting to the loss or change.

People tend to hold others hostage to there past.  Therefore, they give shoes of guilt to wear.  Its at this point that they will attempt to, “make you feel responsible or remorseful for what took place in your past”.

I did things out of habit instead of doing what I knew to be right during my first marriage.  I hurt my wife, children and myself.  I have shook off the guilt of my past by forgiving myself.

Just because you are in a blended family doesn’t mean you can’t live a happy, forgiven and prosperous life.  Just remember it begins with you.  You are forgiven and set free !!!!

Life is a TEST!

Life is a test, if life was not a test you would have all the answers!  That being said, I had to accept that I’m an imperfect person living in an imperfect world with outsiders attempting to place expectations upon me over and over again.  When you accept expectations from others over and over again the end result is stress.

We must also understand that sometime in life we are whiplashed with crises out of the blue like a flood that just stresses us out.  A study listed the top twelve most stressful crises that a marriage can experience:

1) Death of a child

2) Jail sentence

3) An unfaithful spouse

4) Major financial difficulty or bankruptcy

5) Business failure

6) Being fired

7) Miscarriage or stillbirth

8) Court appearance

9) Unwanted pregnancy

10) Major illness in the family — cancer or heart disease

11) Unemployed for over one month

12) Death of a close friend

The only way families have a chance to survive the storms of life that come against us is to have a God given foundation – which is the WORD and Prayer.  This may be your season to step back, refocus, and prepare for the next examine.  It’s only a test and it’s so good to know the one who holds the pencil with the eraser at the end of it.


You Are Special!

While under going trials and tests we often forget what God is doing. He is making our walk personal, so we are able to assist others get through their trials and tests. How do we know this? Just remember what Apostle Paul went through and how he used it to minister to others. You were created to be a testamony for someone else!

Love is the KEY!

Fortifying a blended family requires more work then the average household. Why? Because you are attempting to blend and bond two different households. There may be some culture, background or even have different values. Therefore, the husband and wife must become interwoven. The threefold mandate of leaving, cleaving, and becoming one flesh cannot be fulfilled without love. This immediately raises a problem, because there are so many personal and cultural misconceptions about the nature of love. Many people confuse love with infatuation which is generally based on a superficial level of outward appearance, a desire for self-satisfaction, fantasy, and romantic euphoria.  But remember for God so love the world that he gave.  Are you give unconditional love to your mate and family?


Seeing Red and loving it!

During this season of love, are you will to go the full distance for your mate according to the wedding vow i.e. “Till death us do part!” For that matter becoming a martyr for love.  Love is kind, patient, gentle, warm, unconditional, forgiving and the list goes on.  But what does Red, Love, Valentines Day and Till death us do part, have in common?  I’m glad you ask!  DAHG

Saint Valentine’s Day, commonly shortened to Valentine’s Day, is a holiday observed on February 14 honoring one or more early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine. It was first established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD, and was later deleted from the General Roman Calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI.

The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. By the 15th century, it had evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as “valentines“). read more  @’s_Day

Forgive Yourself

If you long to receive mercy, is it hard for you to release mercy?  We are awed and humble by God’s gracious forgiving of our sin and failure.  Yet we seem reluctant and sometimes rebellious when the Lord commands us to forgive those who have wronged or hurt us. Why do we hold back? What do we fear? Who suffers most when we hoard God’s mercy for ourselves and withhold it from those whom we refuse to forgive?  The first person you need to forgive and love is yourself.

Deal with it!

Truth is a battle of conceptions.  You must deal with the truth and not run from it.  Are you currently sugar coating something instead giving someone the hard facts?  Just remember light overcomes darkness, so set them free today.

Trading Places

One of the greatest corners that one must turn in marriage is Trading Places.  We’re living in a society that requires a two household income to provide adequately for there family.  Today, I fine myself as a husband at home taking care of the children and my wife working.  I’ve learned a very valuable lesson.  This is not an easy job!  I honor stay at home parents all over the world that has this special gift.

Unpleasant Changes

When things don’t go our way, we typically go through stages, which are a normal part of the coping and healing process.

1. Denial—”It can’t be,” It can’t happen to me,” “It’s not true”…. The first stage of reaction to any sudden, unexpected event tends to be denial. Denial is normal if it lasts a short time, but persistent denial is unhealthy because it blocks further growth and healing.

2. Anger/Blame—”Whose fault is it?,” “This makes me mad,” “This isn’t fair,” “Why me?” The second stage of reaction looks backward in hopes of finding the cause and someone or something to blame it on. Although nothing can be done at this point to change the past, it’s nevertheless a normal response. Like the stage of denial before it, the anger/blame stage is unhealthy if it persists for an unreasonable amount of time.

3. Despair—This stage tends to be characterized by tears, negative and hopeless/helpless thoughts, and a feeling of total emptiness and loss. Sleep and eating disturbances are common as the “reality” of the situation sets in. Relationships with other people can become more difficult at this time, but understanding and compassion must be given and accepted if one is to move beyond this stage. Stephen R. Yarnall, MD

Change is inevitable but its how you deal with change that will make you a success or a failure.  If you’re right now on the unpleasant side of the balance scale you have the power to tip the scale the other side toward pleasant. Dahg

Love is Patient-Lust is Risky

Today it’s about choices.  Love is truly like a good home cooked meal.  Lust equates to having a take out meal.  Love will leave an everlasting impression and lust will leave you carving more with the in result feeling bad.

Before you remarry or marry ask yourself this:  “Have you taken enough time to evaluate the complete household?  Are you doing this out of pressure to fulfill an emotional, physical, sexual or financial need?” After asking yourself the above questions: choose whether you are ready to open their bag or have your own bags opened.

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