Who Disciplines Which Kids? It is usually easier and more natural for the biological parent to discipline his or her own child/children. However, some couples do share responsibility for discipline. REMEMBER: each child is unique and will react to discipline in different ways, whether applied by the parent or step-parent.
Be kind and patient when applying discipline, but not indulgent. Set firm limits without anger or spite. Make sure to let the child know that he or she is valued, but misbehavior is not acceptable. Even in a nuclear family, children will test limits, so when a stepchild says, “You can’t tell me what do; you’re not my parent,” try to avoid an angry power struggle. State your position and stick to it, preferably with the support of your partner.
Blended Families face Unique Challenges
The image of the traditional American family — the nuclear family of the Clevers and Huxtables — was once limited to mom, dad, and children living happily together under roof. Today the notion of a typical family has gradually expanded to included blended families of stepparents and stepchildren, like the Bradys and the Kardashians.
Blended families are one of the fastest growing segments of families in the United States, but unlike the nicely packaged problems seen on Television, these families struggle with issues that are anything but easy. Major issues that newly blended families face include integrating discipline styles and coping with strong emotions, while at the same time building new relationships from scratch.
“It’s hard to step out of that role – am I a friend or am I a parent? But as an adult, you’re the parent, you have to discipline because there are going to be times that they’re with you alone,” said New York psychologist Dr. Janet Taylor in an interview with “Good Morning America.”
“Come from a nurturing standpoint, where you teach them responsibility, but do it from a place of love.”
Yes, love is a key factor but the major role begins with the new couple and what they have agreed upon before they said I do. If you begin to look at why the child or children are acting out, you may have a better understand on how to solve the issues at hand. First they have suffered a great loss in loosing the other parent and secondly adjustment doesn’t come over night. Continue to esteem your mate but at the same time don’t stop showing affection for all your children.
David A. Harris-Gavin
My biological mother passed some 14 years ago and during her sickness my stepmother always made herself available. Now, I’m older, wiser and truly understand the importance of family.
My stepmother loves me unconditionally just like the Lord; despite my faults. Now, it’s my turn to be a blessing to her by assisting my half-siblings to care give for her. Oh, what a blessing…
Can you forget about yourself and bless a family member in spite of how they may have treated you growing up? Just a thought!
Build me a son, O Lord,
who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,
and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid;
one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,
and humble and gentle in victory.
Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort,
but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge.
Here let him learn to stand up in the storm;
here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Build me a son whose heart will be clear,
whose goal will be high,
a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men,
one who will reach into the future,
yet never forget the past.
And, after all these things are his,
give him, I pray, enough of a sense of humor,
so that he may always be serious,
yet never take himself too seriously.
Give him humility,
so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness,
the open mind of true strength.
Then I, his father, will dare to whisper,
‘I have not lived in vain.’
Blended families have several challenges and barriers. One serious problem that escalates out of control is the way the new husband and wife feels about their kid(s). Better known as the Kid Factor! Each is committed to his or her own flesh and blood, while they’re merely acquainted with the other(s). The problem is when kid(s) sense tension between the parents, they will use it as an opportunity to exploit the situation to their advantage. Therefore, set boundaries for both sets of siblings. Discuss between husband and wife who should handle the discipline and how. Then share these new rules with everyone. I like to call the Barrier Dissolver! Just remember love is the key to barrier breaker.
Are you ready for a change in your life? A new adventure, new scenery, new love, new attitude, new home, whatever your desire it begins with you. Just know changes come with a price. It’s like being in the hand of a potter; being remolded or reshaped. The end result is unknown. The bottom-line change is for the best….. GET READY FOR A CHANGE TODAY!
Often people never can (or should) “get over” significant losses, such as the death of a loved one, loss of a job, divorce or even loss of a home. The pain may always be with you in some capacity. Although much of the sharp pain of sorrow goes away in time, you may always have a sense of the loss. The grief process is not about getting over it, but about learning how to live with the reality of the loss. I believe that God has you in the palm of his hand. Just don’t give up.