Building stronger bonds by sharing family values

Archive for August, 2014

Dad’s Your Daughters Needs You!

Dads give guidance to their sons and moms guidance their daughters. But particularly as girls mature, they need their dads’ perspective as they approach significant crossroads. Daughters need the benefit of their dads’ life experiences and wisdom as they consider important life decisions and think through possible consequences of their choices.

Your daughter also needs to know that you cherish her as a person and you admire her as a lovely young woman. She isn’t just another person; she is special and unique, and worthy of your attention. She is royalty. Your love maybe what it takes for her not to fade into the shadows of darks wondering around looking for hope. She needs you to be a dad not a stranger perpetrating to be someone he’s not. 

Begin today by loving her with a simple phone call, taking her to lunch or better yet a hug. 



David A. Harris-Gavin

Basic Instinct

Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family.
Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member,
yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted.
-Paul Pearshall 

Modern Day Family Pt2

Blended Families face Unique Challenges

The image of the traditional American family — the nuclear family of the Clevers and Huxtables — was once limited to mom, dad, and children living happily together under roof. Today the notion of a typical family has gradually expanded to included blended families of stepparents and stepchildren, like the Bradys and the Kardashians.

Blended families are one of the fastest growing segments of families in the United States, but unlike the nicely packaged problems seen on Television, these families struggle with issues that are anything but easy.  Major issues that newly blended families face include integrating discipline styles and coping with strong emotions, while at the same time building new relationships from scratch.

“It’s hard to step out of that role – am I a friend or am I a parent? But as an adult, you’re the parent, you have to discipline because there are going to be times that they’re with you alone,” said New York psychologist Dr. Janet Taylor in an interview with “Good Morning America.”

“Come from a nurturing standpoint, where you teach them responsibility, but do it from a place of love.”

Yes, love is a key factor but the major role begins with the new couple and what they have agreed upon before they said I do.  If you begin to look at why the child or children are acting out, you may have a better understand on how to solve the issues at hand.  First they have suffered a great loss in loosing the other parent and secondly adjustment doesn’t come over night.  Continue to esteem your mate but at the same time don’t stop showing affection for all your children.

David A. Harris-Gavin



New Modern Day Family

“Remarriage is a rising phenomenon within society. Given the prevalence of the blended family within the American society, and the higher risk for dissolution within higher-order marriages, it is essential for therapists to gain a greater understanding as to the difficulties that such families face.” Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, Sara Dupuis PhD

Blended families are quickly becoming the new modern day family.  With this new family system is a wave of unresolved past and current issues from prior relationships. I agree with Dr. Dupuis that therapists need to gain a greater understanding of the current challenges that couples are facing today. I also would suggest that couples may attend pre or remarriage counseling.  More to come in my next addition on New Modern Day Family.

Love to hear your thoughts on this issue!

 David A. Harris-Gavin

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